secretofthefox: (falling quiet)
Sol ☼ Thomas "Tan" Moore ([personal profile] secretofthefox) wrote2015-11-15 10:58 pm

Memory 38

Negative Neutral: waking up broken
Won: Day 187
Game: Epsilon's heart

Summary
(As with other Broken Soul memories, this memory feels as though there is something missing, broken, empty in Tan's soul.)

(In the time before he's conscious, there's a slight twinge, almost a jolt, and a male not-voice. "Hey, kid. Wake up. You've got something to take care of, don't you?" But this is only half-remembered.)

The first thing Tan notices as he slowly comes to is that he's lying on his back, on a surface that feels vaguely soft - is it a bed? It feels kind of like it's probably a bed... It's light out, or at least it feels like there's light on the other side of his eyelids, but not a super bright light, so it's probably mid-day. There's weight on top of him, but nothing keeping him weighed down, more like a blanket, so he's probably on a bed, yeah.

He feels cold.

Why does he feel cold.

He opens his eyes to a plain ceiling of a house. He is, indeed, on a bed. A slow glance around reveals that he is, in fact, in a bedroom, one that feels familiar - why does it feel familiar? he's having trouble remembering - but that he can't put his finger on. Everything is muted, everything feels broken, everything feels cold despite how he has a blanket...

Why is he in a bed, anyway? How did he get in a bed? What was he doing? What's the last thing he remembers...? Does he remember?

Slowly, almost zombie-like, he gets out of bed and leaves the room, passing by an open door. A guest bedroom, probably. It feels like a guest bedroom, like he knows it's a guest bedroom, but why would he know that...? There are two bed rolls laid out on the floor. The beds aren't made. Someone was sleeping there. Two someones. But they're gone now.

He makes his way downstairs, where things are still familiar but in his addled state he can't put his finger on why. The door is open, and he steps outside, and a distance out, he sees people - he knows them, they're his friends! and a fox? - fighting something, protecting the house. Of course he has to help them fight, so he starts to make a--

His fire won't come.

He tries again, but nothing.

How odd.

But that just means there's nothing he can do here, doesn't it. And he barely even notices when his feet start moving almost of their own accord, just picking a direction and going with it. When he does notice, he doesn't stop them, because what else is he supposed to do.

It's only the very back of his mind that notices at all when a thick white fog starts to roll in around him.


What He Learns
☼ If you've seen Memory 22 (house fire), you'll recognize the bedroom, and the house in general, as Tan's house from when he was five. Considering that he remembers visiting his mother and Ambre in that house, it's likely the same place as Memory 32 (the inherited knowledge of the flame).
☼ At the time he was super out of it though and couldn't remember why it was familiar.
☼ Because Broken Soul.
☼ He also can't remember in this memory what he was doing up to this point at the time, though given context from other memories that's possibly repression.
☼ His friends were fighting something (for the record the fox here is Ambre)
☼ His fire wouldn't come
☼ And so he just kind of. wandered off. just like that.
☼ and that's how we got to Memory 9 (broken wanderings)


Notes
The empty bedrolls are where Norbert and Rena were put for treatment for nearly dying from being incinerated. They weren't there because they subconsciously willed themselves back to the human world for a while, long story.

Second to last Broken Soul memory! Even if this one is the first (pure) one chronologically. There's one more in the registry.

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